Sweet Story

Abigail had a book swap at school. She took in ten books that she didn't want anymore and got to trade them in for other books that her peers didn't want anymore. She made some great picks that were, by far, much more interesting books than the books we donated. We have now have a small collection of Clifford, Toy Story, Pinkalicious, Hello Kitty, and How to Draw books. But the very best part of all is when Abigail said, "I picked this one out for Autumn because I thought she would like it." How generous to give up a book for yourself to get something for you little sister (and no one even asked her to do it). I wish I could take the credit, but she was just born a sweet and thoughtful child. I'm so proud of her (gush, gush).

Grumpy Pants

I am tired of always wearing grumpy pants lately. I am actually making a concious effort to be less grumpy and it's just not working. There are lots of things I can blame...gloomy weather, hormones, abyssmal economy, inept professors and school stresses. The list goes on and on. The good news is that I love my clinical setting. Spending 12 hours in the NICU flies by and I am never grumpy.

I also find that this pregnancy is just flying by. With all the madness, if I didn't make a daily effort to acknowledge the little baby kicking around inside me, I would completely forget I was pregnant. I suppose I should be thankful that I don't have the morning sickness or achey joints or fatigue that so many others have to remind me that my body is really busy hosting a long-term house guest. But sometimes those pains force you to focus on yourself and push aside all of your other less important worries. I also find that I am less inclined to daydream with such looming uncertainties. I want to surf for nursery themes and ways to turn Abigail's room into one that is equally geared to herself and Autumn since they will soon be sharing a room. I want to dream up an awesome nursery theme that I will be happy to sit in for hours on end, but one that will grow with the kid.

I know it will all work out, but in the meantime, I've got to trade in my grumpy pants for some happy pants. Here's a pic of what makes me happy and makes all the madness worth it.

Tidbits

- It is sunny right now, makes me happy.

- Abigail's opthalmalogist swears she has green eyes, not blue.

- I've popped. People can actually tell I'm pregnant.

- Abigail gave the baby belly a hug yesterday, Autumn wanted to thump it.

- I am looking forward to the warm summer sun.

- A little less than 5 weeks before the ultrasound.

- I like the new show "Kings". I hope it doesn't get cancelled.

-I choose not to burden you with my negativity today.

A Hug or a Headlock?


Doing the Good-bye Dance

Abigail and Her Kindergarten BFF in Circus Attire

So Much, So Little Time

Well, it's actually been quite busy around here. No time + no motivation = no blogging. I'm still loving the career and the unit, but am hating school. Nothing new, so I won't bore you with the rant.

I had my monthly appointment with my midwife on Monday. Up 8 pounds, which is far more than I've ever gained this early in a pregancy. But, I started out lighter than other pregnancies, so I will likely still top out at the 159 mark come delivery time. Guess my body just wants to hit a certain max, regardless of how much I weigh at the beginning. Definitely feeling little kicks. No one else can yet, but they're there. Almost 17 weeks.

My friends have gone through all the old wives tales to figure out if it's a boy or a girl. I think it's still split down the middle. I like to eat savory and sweet. The heart rate is 140. The chinese gender calendar is ambiguous. Several have had gut feelings that it's a boy. We'll just have to wait the 5.5 weeks to find out. And, my ridiculous baby boy streak has been broken. A nurse at work is having a girl.

Abigail's kindergarten class put on a circus today. Sadly, I had class, but Brian and Autumn attended and took pictures. They rode bikes, did gymnastics, told jokes and did magic tricks. There was even a "strong man" that picked up a very "heavy" styrofoam barbell. Wish I'd been there. The kids charged money; 10 cents for kids/$1 for adults; to help them practice counting money. Then they are going to use the proceeds to adopt a sea turtle to mirror their lesson about the life cycle of the leatherback sea turtle.

Autumn is getting very good at writing her ones and Ts, wowing her teachers with her mad writing skills.

We're gearing the kids up for bunk beds in the next month and a half or so and Brian is still plugging away at the job hunt. I'm confident everything will work out, but until I have confirmation of that I will be wicked stressed. Watch out. My tolerance and patience for anything beyond my immediate family or the NICU babies is absolutely zero.

Spring Break

It's Spring Break for me, but this snow certainly doesn't make it feel very Springy. I have been able to catch up on clinical hours and some papers; if I can just keep up my momentum. A neighbor invited Abigail out to go sledding on Monday and she had a blast. (I was sleeping off night shift and Brian has a cold, so I am very greatful that she got to enjoy the snow).

We are all adjusting to the new routine. We cut Autumn's daycare down by 70%, so she is getting used to spending more time at home. I am trying to relearn how to juggle my time. Brian is on kid duty, but I still feel torn between wanting to help out, yet still having a lot of school work to do that prevents me from helping out.

Despite all the chaos and stress, I know that when I hear my kids giggle and see them playing together the rest just doesn't matter. That is also probably why I'm taking the time blog about the newest edition every week. It guarantees me one moment to forget about the economy and focus on the future...when I will have earning power and Brian will have a job and we will be able to see all five faces in our family smiling.

Look at me, I can suck my thumb already!

I still fit in my prepregnancy jeans, but after wearing them every day for a week, I decided I needed to pull out the maternity clothes to give myself some variety. Seems funny when I don't feel big enough to need them yet, but I guess maybe I do. The bones are all formed and should be hardening up over the next couple of weeks. I still get some flutters, but I'm looking for those big kicks that say, "don't forget about me in here!" We've got seven more weeks until the ultrasound and I won't even begin to guess if it's a boy or a girl. I will say this...my baby boy count is up to 17! I will either perpetuate this trend or break it (very intuitivue of me, right?). Can't wait to find out. Regardless of a boy or a girl, I still want to do a nerdy nursery. Science is fun for a boy or a girl!

All of My Babies

Well, I've noticed that the cell-phone sized fetus has been been getting an disproportionate amount of air time. I will now attempt the game of "Even-Steven", which I know to be impossible to achieve and should not be strived for on a daily basis. More likely, it will all even out in the wash.

Abigail has certainly grown up into a smart and creative young lady. During our weekend visit with the Great Aunts and Great Grandma, Abigail led craft-time. She prepped supplies at the house and taught all of the Aunts how to make origami sea-turtles.

And, we just swung by the local mall where the area elementary schools had the children's artwork on display. I imagined every child got to post an art project, but I was pleasantly proven wrong. Maybe 50 kids from each school got their art displayed and Abigail was one of them. Looks like she's a budding Picasso.

Autumn has learned a whole bunch of new words lately. Just this weekend, she tackled "she", "g-ramma", "g-rampa", "green" and "broccoli". This is huge for us. Being able to understand Autumn goes a long way to keeping everyone sane. She's still headstrong, but at least I understand what she's so grumpy about, even if I don't agree.

This littlest one is still locked up on the inside. Last week I was not hungry, but never felt full. It was a horrible feeling. Nothing was satisfying. At least for today, that feeling has gone away. I don't feel hungry and I feel full. Maybe it was the peanut butter. I haven't eaten peanut butter since the last big Peter Pan PB recall 2 years ago. I now I jump back in during a salmonella outbreak. Go figure. Here's a pic of what the little one might look like; wrinkly and old man-ish.

Belated Update

Well, this week has been busy juggling school and icy weather and stomach flu and head colds... At first I couldn't figure out why I hadn't posted, but I suppose that explains it. I have to admit, I am SO ready for spring. While living in New England sipping tea in front of a warm fire seems so romantic, the reality is I would likely become bitter from being in a constant state of hypothermia. Just the very idea of spring this year brings me hope. Warmer sunny weather that begs you to spend more time outside, the hope of a traditional pickup in the housing market that will overflow to increase hiring in other jobs, birthdays, stroller walks, flowers blooming....Just get here already!

Clinical was awesome this week. Crazy busy, but learned so much. When my preceptor introduced me to the mom of my patient, the mom said that she had heard great things about me the day before. It was nice to hear that people are talking up what a good job I'm doing even when I'm not around.

The baby bump is progressing. Still wearing everyday clothes, so passersby probably just think I'm fat and out of shape. I don't really care because I know better. I even think I've felt a few little kicks this week. I have to be very still and they are very subtle, but they are definitely there. It's nice to have something so fun to distract me from the stressors of everyday life. I have also found that while I am not hungry all of the time, I am never full. This stinks because I like to feel satisfied after a good meal. This does not bode well for my weight gain. The baby has all of its tooth buds, is secreting insulin, and is refining that GI tract. Go villi and peristalsis.

How cool is this picture, a 13 week fetus with an red artsy hue.

The Elfish Gene

Brian has a book review published on SciFi Wire (which was so awesome it needed very few edits). Check it out.
http://scifiwire.com/2009/02/a-trainspotting-like-addiction-to-dd-rules-the-elfish-gene.php

Hello Second Trimester

Well, I had my second appointment today and all is well. My midwife could feel my fundus (top of the uterus for most folks), which was no surprise to me since every time I lay on my stomach I can feel it. I'm up 3 pounds (which is a lot for me for the first trimester, but totally in the realm of normal and I'm sure some would say I should be thankful). Baby's heart rate sounds good and it's an active little fetus. Every time we found the heart beat it would bounce away. I didn't realize you can hear the blood flow of the placenta, but you can and it sounded just the way it's suppose to. It was high up, so I imagine this is a good sign that placenta previa won't be an issue. Lab work came back with a thumbs up and they are already working on scheduling the 22 week ultrasound (just 10 weeks away!).

I have a feeling this pregnancy is going to fly by. I feel like it was just yesterday that I hoping the pregnancy would make it to my first appointment at 8 weeks. I am trying to take the time to enjoy each day of this pregnancy, but it's hard when you don't feel particularly pregnant. I'm not tired or morning sick. I can still wear my everyday jeans. Hopefully I feel some kicks in the next few weeks, then there will be no way to "forget" that I'm pregnant. Just putting this to paper makes it so exciting. Life is really busy right now and we have more than our share of stresses, but this baby is my little reminder of hope and peace and happiness. I have my family and my health and that is what is most important.

P.S. The baby is drinking amniotic fluid and peeing it out. Go kidneys. Here's a picture of what the baby may look like. It's like it's sleeping in a puffy amniotic cloud.

A Little Behind

Well, I was trying to post at the beginning of each week, but am now 11.5 weeks and just now have an opportunity to post. It's been a busy week of school work and feeling unmotivated to do school work (that can consume a lot of time).

I am back on the broccoli. There seemed to be one specific store brand that sent me running, but when I switched back to my usual brand broccoli became De-Licious again. At one point food seemed less than appealing, almost as if I'd been offered sheep's brains. I wasn't going to run for the toilet, but it did make my stomach turn. At any rate, food is fun again. I feel a little bad. Everyone I talk to has it much worse in the morning sickness department. I'm not even that tired this time around. So far it has mimicked Autumn's pregnancy, but I don't believe for a minute that the similarities are suggestive of another girl. I don't believe in gut feelings, the ultrasound will tell us in time.

I've got another appointment on Monday and will officially have completed my first trimester. Now we'll just have to wait and see when I have to expand to maternity clothes. Still loving my jeans for now.

Here's a little pic of what the fetus (not an embryo anymore) could look like. A little alienish, but cool digits.

More Than You Ever Wanted to Know About Car Seat Safety

So, I was catching up with a good friend this morning. We're both expecting our thirds about the same time. Our oldests are the same age and our second children were born just a month a part. The conversation turned toward whether our infant car seats we got 6 years ago were still up to snuff.

Now, when it comes to car seat safety, I am neurotic. Both of my kids outgrew the height limit on the infant carrier around 9 months old. I don't think most mom's even consider the height limit and use their carriers until their kids is a year old or they get too heavy for it. The good news is that they make infant carriers to hold children up to 32" now, instead of 29" like they did when my kids were "tiny". Which brings me to the reason why we will be buying a new infant carrier (and convertible car seat).

Car seats expire! That's right folks, after about 6 years, the plastic dries and the no-seeum parts can no longer be trusted to be reliable. And that is 6 years from the date of manufacture, not the date you bought the item. So, I checked the infant seat and it expired last August. Still need to take the convertible car seat out of the car to find the hidden info (really, if they want people to maintain a safe car seat, this info should be readily accessible). Given that we bought this seat when Abigail was 9 months old and she will be almost 6.5 years old when baby #3 arrives, I can just assume that the car seat needs to be tossed. Just as well, since we need a sleeker seat for Autumn to fit 3 car seats across the back.

And this last bit is a little lecturey. The above info most of us are clueless about, but this tidbit I am sure we are all aware. The five point harness is an awesome invention, but often used improperly. The plastic bar should rest just under the collar bones between the shoulder blades. No one ever puts it above because you would be seriously choking your tot, but I've seen many moms put it below the ribs because they don't want it to be too tight. In an accident, this will force the stomach to absorb the impact and will cause a lot of damage. Post all sorts of nasties in the comments section, but when it comes to safety I am not interested in making friends, just keeping the little ones safe.

I don't know about you, but I definitely learned something new today and am now on a mission to find new car seats.

Here is a wiki link, but I found it several places. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Child_safety_seat#General_child_safety_seat_info

Oh, To Be a Stress-Free 10 Week Fetus Again.

I can not believe I posted yesterday. Seems like a lifetime ago. County schools were closed and felt totally unmotivated (and honestly had no time) to get any school work work done. I feel overwhelmed with clinical hours that I can not seem to complete because of scheduling, assignments I can not begin because they are not clearly explained or we have not covered the material enough for me to have a clue, wishing I could see the future and know that Brian would have X job making Y money by Z date, and feeling helpless to contribute beyond clipping coupons and conserving electricity. Enough of the woe is me crap.

This is week 10 for my embryo (soon to be fetus by the end of the week). Here's what the littlest murph looks like, in theory.

I'm recovering from a bit of a GI illness that hit over the weekend. Now I'm not sure if it's moved on and I just feel yucky pregnancy hormones, or if a bit of it is lingering. Hard to say. Just ordered some pregnancy scrubs online. I'm sure I could have just bought scrubs one size up, but I do not feel like fighting with drawstring pants that slip every time you move. Took forever to find a site that wasn't going to cost me as much in shipping as it was to buy the pants. Can you believe this town employs thousands of nurses and their is only one store that offers a piddly selection of scrubs? not a single one being of the maternity variety?

(blogspot refuses to let a line break appear here)

Well, I won't hear about my new job until at least the end February. I'm optimistic because I've talked to every NICU manager I can find at the hospital and made it very clear that I am qualified and eager to be on their unit. Of course, given the economy, even nurses are losing jobs. The NICU brought in 11 people last year and will only be budgeting for 4-6 this year. Hospital-wide, people are holding off on elective procedures because they can't afford them. Fewer people are having kids because of financial concerns (I don't blame them, kids are expensive), therefore fewer end up on the NICU. The world is a very, very connected place.

Fat Suit

Today is my first interview for a new graduate nurse position. Don't get too excited, I do not plan are beginning my career until January 2010, but they like you to interview early. Crazy, I know. Last night I was getting myself organized, laying out my clothes for the interview and clinical that I am doing back-to-back. Tried on my favorite suit...yep..a bit snug. Tried on my second favorite suit...not gonna happen. Seriously?! I flip through my business clothes and I can not find my fat suit. I have an old, suit that has a stretch waist band. I know, you are cringing. Finally I found it and that is the suit I am wearing right now. At least it's a suit and it's not like I'm ever going to have to wear a suit to work. Frankly, I think you should be able to interview in clothes similar to what you will be wearing every day, but the game dictates otherwise. Wish me and my fat suit good luck on our interview. Then it's 8 hours of clinical. And I'm trying to get over a GI bug that has been plaguing me all weekend. It's going to be a long day.

No More Tests

Well, it turns out my prediction last semester was correct. I have no tests this semester, just papers and presentations (technically, I have three quizzes, but they are take home, open note...really just confused homework assignments). No tests are my worst nightmare, but I'll get through it. It takes me far less time to prepare for an exam that it does for me to write something.

So, I had my last test yesterday. It was a comprehensive exam that was very much like the Nursing Boards I will have to take this fall. In theory, if you do well on the practice exam, you will pass your boards. It also lets you know what areas you are weak in to help you study. Let's just say I passed that practice exam with flying colors. That was my last exam for nursing school.

Woo Hoo!

Post 100

I figure the 100th blog entry is a milestone. Go me.

I was just catching up on my emails and learned that my baby is the size of a grape, has all its organs, and is getting its teeth. Don't bite me. I remember doing following along with my first pregnancy. Every week I was excited to learn that the baby could now hear or the baby was getting its eyelashes. Particularly when you can't feel it kick, it's a fun way to stay connected. Don't get me wrong, I did this with my second pregnancy, as well, but it hadn't been that long and I was trying to keep up with a two year old. This time around, I know it will be my last and the girls play together so nicely that I get the breaks I need.

9 Week Fetus

My biggest concern is about the new change in family dynamic. The girls play awesomely together, they are close enough in age that they like mostly the same things, they can both play board games and ride bikes. I do try to foster a good relationship between them, but at the end of the day I know it is their choice to be friends and not just sisters. Once this third one arrives, I will again go through great lengths to ensure each child has their space and individuality and provide them the opportunities to get along nicely, but in the end it is all up to them. Really, there is no sense worrying. This small concern is nothing compared to the big happiness I will feel when I get to meet the new baby. Just 31 more weeks to go.

After an exhausting weekend, I am pleased to announce that I still love the NICU. I feel very comfortable in that environment and can not wait to get paid for it. The one thing I don't look forward to is standing on my feet for 12 hours when I'm 7 months pregnant. I suppose other nurses do it all the time, but it still doesn't sound like fun. I never had any swelling during my other pregnancies, but I am attempting to avoid lower leg edema by wearing compression hose during shifts to promote circulation. My midwife recommended 25 mm Hg, but I think I will have to start out with a lighter compression, it took me ten minutes to put those things on the other night!

At any rate, a toast to 100 posts. Here's to 100 more.

Happy Inaguration Day!!!!!!!

Bye, Bye Broccoli

Seems the baby has fallen out of favor with broccoli...too sweet. I know, weird stuff happens when you're pregnant.

The semester has started off in shear chaos. I think after the first couple of week, the schedule will be more predictable and I'll feel more in my comfort zone. I was hoping to start clinical next week, but because of my personal schedule and my class schedule and my preceptors' schedule, I will be jumping in with two overnight shifts this weekend. I try to keep weekends family time as much as possible. Plus, I prefer to avoid single parenting scenarios when we pay a good deal of money in childcare. I have every confidence in Brian being single dad (I wouldn't have gotten this far in the program if I didn't), I just prefer we share the job whenever possible.

Scheduling stress aside, I am really excited to get back into the NICU. It was only my second clinical ever and I am very excited to revisit it with all the new skills and confidence I've acquired since then. Admittedly, I'm a litte intimidated, but I know I can do it. I'll resurface next week, I hope.

The Excitement Never Ends

So, it's still early, but I'm breaking my silence. I'm horrible at keeping secrets and am shocked I was able to hold out for as long as I could. Brian and I will be welcoming baby Murph #3 at the end of August (given my history, beginning of September is entirely anticipated). Today we met my new midwife and I just love her. Very forthcoming with all of her stats and very nurturing, not too granola, and the only midwife left in town delivering in a hospital. She is not into sonograms, but given the pressures from the medical community and the desire of many mom's to know the gender, she is open to them. We'll have one around 22 weeks to get good images of the heart.

I am 8 weeks and 1 day, which means I have an aversion to just about every food (except broccoli), I look like I've gained 5 pounds of holiday weight (but have probably lost weight), and seem to be burping an awful lot (didn't have this with the first two....not too fond of it). I've been a little anxious about this pregnancy for no logical reason at all. Statistics do not put you in danger or safety, nor does knowing many friends who have had miscarriages put me at a higher (or lower) chance of having one myself. But, after today's visit I am comfortable announcing the pregnancy.

The midwife was kind enough to humor me and listen for a heartbeat (not typically heard via doppler until 10-12 weeks gestation). I told her I wouldn't read anything into it if I didn't hear anything, but if we could try and I heard a heartbeat I would be reassured. So, she tried...and tried....and tried. We heard my pulse..whoosh.............whoosh...........whoosh, like waves crashing on the shore. And then, like a distant train..choo..choo..choo..choo..whoosh..choo..choo..choo...

I have to say, it was the coolest sound, increased my odds this pregnancy is a keeper, and kept me on cloud nine all day. Now, we'll just to see if I am the lucky lady to break the baby boy trend or if we will need to learn to like a color other than pink.

Exciting News!

I just got my capstone placement for Spring and Summer semesters and I get to be in the NICU!!! I've met my preceptor before and she is awesome. I can not wait to finally delve into a unit and area of nursing that I really enjoy. I am so happy that I got what I asked for.

Could 2009 be full of the good stuff? It's off to a promising start.

Awesomenest

My friend just pointed out to me this morning that once the semester starts, I will be done with school in 6.5 months. Well, when you put it that way!!!! Frankly, school is low on my list of concerns. Just fast foward me a couple of months and hopefully jobs will be secured and our other worries will melt away.

Today the weather is beautiful. The girls and I had a playdate this morning. Maybe we'll go kick the soccer ball around or play a little baseball this afternoon. Must take advantage of a beautiful day and wear those little ladies out.

A Fresh Start

Well, 2008 ended on a sour note for the Murphy family, but that's not to say the whole year was a bust. I am 2/3 of the way done with school. Abigail started Kindergarten, learned how to swim, learned to eat a cheeseburger, and is an excellent reader. Autumn learned how to talk (mostly), she is potty-trained (a diaper-free home!), and she graduated out of the crib to a twin bed. Brian and I enjoyed an anniversary vacation complete with winery tours. Both of our cars are paid off and only required minor repairs. We still love our home and enjoy that it's brand-newness means no repairs. We certainly can't complain that gas prices went down (I won't even think about our retirement account or home value that are surely reduced to pennies). Our final thrill of 2008 is that Autumn learned how to have quiet time in the morning. Even though the girls wake up at 6 most days, they play quietly together in their rooms until their tummies insist we wake up around 7:30. While the job loss and hard drive crash have overshadowed the goodness of 2008 in the 11th hour, we do have a lot more than most, we have our home, our health and our family. I guess all in all, 2008 just continued to remind us that it's the little things in life that are most important and that it's a good time to get rid of the excess and keep it simple.

I could focus on the negative, but I choose not to. I have a lot to be thankful for.

I wish everyone a healthy, happy, and fulfilling 2009!