Monday, December 27, 2010

Lost Art of Common Courtesy

It's something that's been niggling at the back of my mind for months. I finally have the time and desire to get it off my chest.

In the grand scheme of things, I would consider myself a fairly liberal person. I suppose some may not agree. I am not bothered by tattoos and piercings, but I do think derriere cleavage should be covered up (especially at work). I make my kids say "please" and "thank-you", but forget "sir" and "ma'am". I don't go around dropping the F-bomb, but I am not offended in the least if you do (nor do I think your IQ is lacking because you choose not to come up with another word in the English language).

However, I find that my peers have become to slack in common courtesy. For starter, passive aggressive innuendos on Facebook. While Facebook is a social network, you have probably friended your family and coworkers of which these subtle jabs are aimed at and to which one would relate to in a more formal way than a BFF. It does not take a genius to figure out who you are talking about. In the past it was considered rude to air your dirty laundry in public, now the realms of public feel blurry. FB is most definitely public (as indicated by the 500+ nearest and dearest you have friended). But, it seems harmless enough to write a sentence or two as a status update.

I also find the hospital a very unique habitat. It is a job, but it is intimate in a way most professional jobs will never be. You learn details about people that they would never consider telling their friends or family. On the one hand, I view my coworkers as colleagues. I share a professional relationship with them and would appreciate the same in return. When a nurse rants to me during report about how she can not believe that "they" aren't managing the patient's pain well or finds the patient's care provided by "them" unacceptable, I can't help but be a little hurt. It is said in a way to point the finger at the "medical team", but doesn't that include me? How is it that some healthcare workers find it so acceptable to bad mouth the other members of the team when they are just as responsible for ensuring good patient care. Or maybe I would just rather someone take the time to collaborate to understand why the plan is the way it is before judging my skills. I suppose this may be no different than other jobs where you complain about the boss, but I find it frustrating that there seems to be a lack of common courtesy/professionalism in this environment. Maybe I just need to accept that after you watch someone die together you assume the relationship has a deeper tie than just professional. That you need to freely express every emotion that comes to your head as a means to cope with the intensity.

Is it just me? Am I only only one who thinks everyone should follow the Golden Rule? A little tolerance? Maybe I am more conservative than I think. After all, I think it is important to have a good work ethic, to put your kids to bed early so that they can be rested and well-behaved, and to treat my fellow humans the same way I would like to be treated...with kindness, respect, and common courtesy.

Friday, December 24, 2010

Holiday Letter

I didn't get around to writing a holiday letter this year. So, I'm going to post one here instead.

Let's start at the very beginning, shall we...

2010 started with me doing my nursing residency in the NICU at UVA. Let's just say juggling a breastfeeding 4 month old, a 4 year old, a 6 year old, a new job, and long hours left everyone a bit overwhelmed. Despite the stress of Brian still looking for a job during this time, it gave me great peace to know that the kids were at home with their daddy. Now that the year is coming to an end, I am proud of my accomplishments and love my job.

Bridget has shown her true personality. She loves to sleep and insists on doing things when she feels ready and not a moment sooner. We got our first glimpse when we tried to introduce the bottle. She fought it for two weeks, but eventually accepted her new reality. Then she decided to take her own sweet time learning to crawl. I think she was finally motivated around 9 months to pick her belly up off the ground and make a real effort. She still isn't walking, even though she's 15 months old, but she will when she's ready. I think it's because she sleeps 16 hours a day (and I certainly won't complain about that). She loves to giggle and is the most easy going, snuggly baby I've met. It's been a joy having her in our family.

Autumn and Abigail got to go to the beach with my in-laws this summer and spent lots of time at the pool. They just loved it. Abigail is learning to love the water (and get her face wet) and Autumn is full of enthusiasm. Neither are little fish in the water, but their excitement makes up for it.

Autumn started Pre-K and loves it. She has learned to write her name and is very excited to learn how to read. She is at such a fun age. She loves to help mom with chores and cooking and anything else to be more "grown up". She has made a great big sister to Bridget.

Abigail attended Irish Camp this summer and learned to dance, sing, play the tin whistle and speak some Celtic. It was fun seeing all of her accomplishments. She is an avid reader, currently devouring both the Ramona series and Diary of a Wimpy Kid. She is a die hard Star Wars fan and is beginning to assert herself as an independent individual. She's torn between wanting to just be a kid and play with dolls and wanting to have the right haircut and outfit. It has been fun to see her grow into a young lady this year.

Brian found work at a local magazine this fall. He jokes that at home he is surrounded by ladies and at the office he is surrounded by ladies. We definitely need to work on infusing some more testosterone into his life in the coming year. We are very thankful that he has steady employment. While this has meant lots of schedule and daycare juggling, these are definitely more ideal problems than not having work. Brian has been the best dad to our three little girls. On days that I work he gets the kids dressed and off to school, goes to work, picks the kids up, bathes them, feeds them, does homework and tucks them into bed. He wins the award for "Best Dad and Husband of the Year".

We know there are still many out there looking for work and losing their homes. We are very thankful to be ending 2010 on a high note. We have what we need, we have our health, we have each other and we have each of you to support us and fill our lives with happiness. May the new year bring each of you joy, health, and memories to last a lifetime.

Love, Brian, Kerri, Abigail, Autumn, and Bridget