Recap

I should be recapping the end of the year. It is New Year's Eve, after all. Instead, it's all I can do to recap the last two weeks.

I am thoroughly exhausted, to be honest. The first week of work was a bunch of 9-5 days getting all sorts of paperwork and generic hospital orientation stuff out of the way. I was both a pack mule and a dairy cow, lugging my breast pump all around the hospital grabbing random rooms to pump in. All the while, Bridget was at home consuming all of an ounce or two, the ENTIRE day.

After an exhausting first week, we got hit with the storm of the decade. The girls had a blast attempting to trudge through it all. Lots of sledding and shoveling and bundling occurred. I really enjoyed it the first day. It was beautiful to watch and cozy inside. We only lost power for a few hours which just gave us an excuse to pile on the blankets and light the candles. After a day of snow and no plows in sight, I started to get frustrated. I wasn't able to get to the hospital for my first day of work on the unit. A two-door Civic Coupe in 2 feet of snow...I don't think so. This meant I was going to have to work Christmas Eve to make up the time. My plans to finish up shopping for Christmas gifts and Christmas dinner was a bust. I did manage to walk to Target to pick up some stocking stuffers and gifts.

Then it was on for three days of work, off for Christmas, on for three more days, off for one, then on for one last day. The schedule was intimidating, in and of itself, but add in getting up extra early to drive on icy roads, squeezing in an early morning pumping session, and being bombarded for 12+ hours with learning a new job; it was all I could do to kiss my babies and crawl into bed when I got home. Did I mention Bridget has taken to waking 3 or 4 times at night, reluctant to be put back to sleep?

But, there was a lot of awesome this past two weeks. Brian was AMAZING as a house spouse. He handled all three kids with ease. Dishes were done. Dinner was warm and waiting for me when I got home at 8:15pm. The kids were bathed, laundry was clean, groceries were bought, Christmas decorations were taken down and toys cleaned up. While I was at work, I never once worried about things at home because I knew it was all getting done. Much to Brian's dismay, being a super house spouse led to me sobbing that I wasn't needed around the house anymore and that I was losing my control of the homefront. I blame hormones, since I have also started shedding like a dog all the hair I didn't lose during pregnancy. I think I might go bald pretty soon if the pace keeps up.

Christmas was lovely. The girls really had fun with the presents this year and get excited over the tiniest things. It's nice to see it doesn't take big and fancy things to make them happy. I finally got to host a holiday meal and dinner was so tasty. It was made even more enjoyable having family to spend the holidays with and I love seeing the girls get to know their baby cousin. Hearing my mother-in-law's hilarious baking escapades is becoming a holiday tradition that brings me giggles. It was Bridget's first Christmas and she slept and enjoyed having her mommy home for a day.

Working with the babies in the NICU has been great. I didn't realize how much I missed it until I was back. Catching up with nurses of the unit and showing off pics the kids has been like a mini reunion. While I was more than overwhelmed the first day back, I have realized that I learned more than I though during my last two semesters of school. I am shocked at how much more ill the intermediate babies are than they used to be, but excited that I get to be the one to help them and their families during the roller coaster course many preemies take.

I could probably write all day, but my baby is awake and looking for snuggles. I want to bake cookies with my big girls and enjoy my four days off.

HAVE A HAPPY AND HEALTHY NEW YEAR!!!!!

Makin' Bacon

Today was my first official day back at work. I had prepped well the night before..laid out an outfit, organized my pumping supplies, parking pass and water bottle were good to go. Bridget was even kind enough to wake me an hour before I had to leave, so I had plenty of time to feed her and get ready. In my head, it all should have worked out. It didn't.

Bridget didn't eat well, so I had to pump before I left (see ya 15 minutes). I decided I didn't like how the outfit I'd picked out fit, so I decided on something else...needed to be ironed. Meant to grab a picture of the girls to keep with...slipped my mind. I realized this on the bus and it almost made me cry, but I had a book to distract me. I perked some coffee, but forgot to pour it in a cup. Decided I had just enough time to swing by 7-11 for a cup, but realized my credit card was in the diaper bag from my big grocery shopping extravaganza a couple of days ago. I never have cash, but managed to scrounge just enough for a cup. It's only decaf, but I really enough a warm cup in the morning (especially when there is freezing fog).

I arrived right on time and there was not a break all day. Lots of orientation stuff and paperwork. My head is swimming. It was nice to take a quick tour and see familiar faces. I got several you-look-familiar-but-can't-place-you looks until I said I was a student and pregnant. Ah ha!

I did find it a little lonely to return to work after having a baby, but spending my day with strangers that were clueless to that fact. It's a tough day for any mom, but it helps to have the support of colleagues to lean on and ask to see pictures.

On the super plus side, I had the comfort of knowing my babies were at home with their daddy. When I called to check in, all was quiet and peaceful . His voice was relaxed and reassuring (even if Bridget only ate an ounce all day). When I got home the kids were playing together, the dishes were done, laundry was clean...it's almost as if I wasn't needed at all. But then Autumn came running over to say how much she missed me; Bridget gave me smiles and ate and ate. Even Abigail asked me how the babies were and if they all arrive too early. I'm still needed and wanted and it's nice to be contributing to the family money pot, again.

I love you, Brian!

Religion vs Morals

I read a commentary in the local paper a couple of weeks ago that sparked a conversation between me and Brian. We discussed it again with a family friend that was visiting this weekend.


I can't find the article to find a direct quote, but the jist was this: The more religion has been removed from the classroom, the less moral generations of children have become. Brian and I recognize that this is part of an age old phenomenon at work. The older generations always look at the younger generation as being wilder, more confrontational and always challenging authority. "Kids grow up so much faster these days, " they might say. That may or may not be true, but this author attributes the downward spiral to a lack of religious influence.

Now, I am not going to argue that religions don't teach their followers morals. Do you really think I want to part with my $50 that easily? But the loud implication is that one can not be moral without the framework of religion to guide them or scare them into submission. Take your pick. I believe people are inherently good. I do believe in being good for goodness sake.

I am more motivated by my belief that my time on Earth is the only chance I've got. I am not being a moral person because of secret prize at the end. I am moral because it is the right thing to do, it betters the society in which I live, and there are no second chances. A lack of religion isn't leading to immoral behavior, a lack of morals is.

While religion may not be infused with our school system, that does not mean parents can't pass along these values at home. Our children are far more influenced by their families, than they are by their education. Besides, the older generations shouldn't place blame for the failings of the younger generation on the schools or religion before reflecting upon the role they contributed to how our generation turned out.

Makes me wonder what lessons will stick and won't stick to my kids over the years, despite my best intentions.

Dear Scrub Designer,

I am not a five year old little girl looking to wear cartoon characters on my tops.

Not all nurses become pediatric nurses which might justify wearing cartoon characters on their tops.

The unshapely boxy look is flattering for no one.

I do not want to flash my goodies every time I lean over to take care of my patients.

The ability to pull off wearing Pepto Bismol pink or purple pants ended when I went through puberty.

Elastic waist pants are something my grandmother would wear.

Drawstring pants give you a bunchy bottom and constantly have to be retied.

What's wrong with a button and a zipper like normal people? I'm sure men wearing scrubs would appreciate the zipper feature.

I do not think I can justify spending more money on scrub tops and pants, that will get covered in blood and body fluids, than I do on my everyday clothes.

All white...are you kidding me? I'm no scarey Nurse Ratched.

I am a professional and would like to buy a look that reflects that at a reasonable price.

All that said, you're likely to find me wearing a pink polka dot top with turquoise drawstring pants this winter because that's all they had in my price range. Way to start my nursing career looking like a tart.