Oh, To Be a Stress-Free 10 Week Fetus Again.

I can not believe I posted yesterday. Seems like a lifetime ago. County schools were closed and felt totally unmotivated (and honestly had no time) to get any school work work done. I feel overwhelmed with clinical hours that I can not seem to complete because of scheduling, assignments I can not begin because they are not clearly explained or we have not covered the material enough for me to have a clue, wishing I could see the future and know that Brian would have X job making Y money by Z date, and feeling helpless to contribute beyond clipping coupons and conserving electricity. Enough of the woe is me crap.

This is week 10 for my embryo (soon to be fetus by the end of the week). Here's what the littlest murph looks like, in theory.

I'm recovering from a bit of a GI illness that hit over the weekend. Now I'm not sure if it's moved on and I just feel yucky pregnancy hormones, or if a bit of it is lingering. Hard to say. Just ordered some pregnancy scrubs online. I'm sure I could have just bought scrubs one size up, but I do not feel like fighting with drawstring pants that slip every time you move. Took forever to find a site that wasn't going to cost me as much in shipping as it was to buy the pants. Can you believe this town employs thousands of nurses and their is only one store that offers a piddly selection of scrubs? not a single one being of the maternity variety?

(blogspot refuses to let a line break appear here)

Well, I won't hear about my new job until at least the end February. I'm optimistic because I've talked to every NICU manager I can find at the hospital and made it very clear that I am qualified and eager to be on their unit. Of course, given the economy, even nurses are losing jobs. The NICU brought in 11 people last year and will only be budgeting for 4-6 this year. Hospital-wide, people are holding off on elective procedures because they can't afford them. Fewer people are having kids because of financial concerns (I don't blame them, kids are expensive), therefore fewer end up on the NICU. The world is a very, very connected place.

Fat Suit

Today is my first interview for a new graduate nurse position. Don't get too excited, I do not plan are beginning my career until January 2010, but they like you to interview early. Crazy, I know. Last night I was getting myself organized, laying out my clothes for the interview and clinical that I am doing back-to-back. Tried on my favorite suit...yep..a bit snug. Tried on my second favorite suit...not gonna happen. Seriously?! I flip through my business clothes and I can not find my fat suit. I have an old, suit that has a stretch waist band. I know, you are cringing. Finally I found it and that is the suit I am wearing right now. At least it's a suit and it's not like I'm ever going to have to wear a suit to work. Frankly, I think you should be able to interview in clothes similar to what you will be wearing every day, but the game dictates otherwise. Wish me and my fat suit good luck on our interview. Then it's 8 hours of clinical. And I'm trying to get over a GI bug that has been plaguing me all weekend. It's going to be a long day.

No More Tests

Well, it turns out my prediction last semester was correct. I have no tests this semester, just papers and presentations (technically, I have three quizzes, but they are take home, open note...really just confused homework assignments). No tests are my worst nightmare, but I'll get through it. It takes me far less time to prepare for an exam that it does for me to write something.

So, I had my last test yesterday. It was a comprehensive exam that was very much like the Nursing Boards I will have to take this fall. In theory, if you do well on the practice exam, you will pass your boards. It also lets you know what areas you are weak in to help you study. Let's just say I passed that practice exam with flying colors. That was my last exam for nursing school.

Woo Hoo!

Post 100

I figure the 100th blog entry is a milestone. Go me.

I was just catching up on my emails and learned that my baby is the size of a grape, has all its organs, and is getting its teeth. Don't bite me. I remember doing following along with my first pregnancy. Every week I was excited to learn that the baby could now hear or the baby was getting its eyelashes. Particularly when you can't feel it kick, it's a fun way to stay connected. Don't get me wrong, I did this with my second pregnancy, as well, but it hadn't been that long and I was trying to keep up with a two year old. This time around, I know it will be my last and the girls play together so nicely that I get the breaks I need.

9 Week Fetus

My biggest concern is about the new change in family dynamic. The girls play awesomely together, they are close enough in age that they like mostly the same things, they can both play board games and ride bikes. I do try to foster a good relationship between them, but at the end of the day I know it is their choice to be friends and not just sisters. Once this third one arrives, I will again go through great lengths to ensure each child has their space and individuality and provide them the opportunities to get along nicely, but in the end it is all up to them. Really, there is no sense worrying. This small concern is nothing compared to the big happiness I will feel when I get to meet the new baby. Just 31 more weeks to go.

After an exhausting weekend, I am pleased to announce that I still love the NICU. I feel very comfortable in that environment and can not wait to get paid for it. The one thing I don't look forward to is standing on my feet for 12 hours when I'm 7 months pregnant. I suppose other nurses do it all the time, but it still doesn't sound like fun. I never had any swelling during my other pregnancies, but I am attempting to avoid lower leg edema by wearing compression hose during shifts to promote circulation. My midwife recommended 25 mm Hg, but I think I will have to start out with a lighter compression, it took me ten minutes to put those things on the other night!

At any rate, a toast to 100 posts. Here's to 100 more.

Happy Inaguration Day!!!!!!!

Bye, Bye Broccoli

Seems the baby has fallen out of favor with broccoli...too sweet. I know, weird stuff happens when you're pregnant.

The semester has started off in shear chaos. I think after the first couple of week, the schedule will be more predictable and I'll feel more in my comfort zone. I was hoping to start clinical next week, but because of my personal schedule and my class schedule and my preceptors' schedule, I will be jumping in with two overnight shifts this weekend. I try to keep weekends family time as much as possible. Plus, I prefer to avoid single parenting scenarios when we pay a good deal of money in childcare. I have every confidence in Brian being single dad (I wouldn't have gotten this far in the program if I didn't), I just prefer we share the job whenever possible.

Scheduling stress aside, I am really excited to get back into the NICU. It was only my second clinical ever and I am very excited to revisit it with all the new skills and confidence I've acquired since then. Admittedly, I'm a litte intimidated, but I know I can do it. I'll resurface next week, I hope.

The Excitement Never Ends

So, it's still early, but I'm breaking my silence. I'm horrible at keeping secrets and am shocked I was able to hold out for as long as I could. Brian and I will be welcoming baby Murph #3 at the end of August (given my history, beginning of September is entirely anticipated). Today we met my new midwife and I just love her. Very forthcoming with all of her stats and very nurturing, not too granola, and the only midwife left in town delivering in a hospital. She is not into sonograms, but given the pressures from the medical community and the desire of many mom's to know the gender, she is open to them. We'll have one around 22 weeks to get good images of the heart.

I am 8 weeks and 1 day, which means I have an aversion to just about every food (except broccoli), I look like I've gained 5 pounds of holiday weight (but have probably lost weight), and seem to be burping an awful lot (didn't have this with the first two....not too fond of it). I've been a little anxious about this pregnancy for no logical reason at all. Statistics do not put you in danger or safety, nor does knowing many friends who have had miscarriages put me at a higher (or lower) chance of having one myself. But, after today's visit I am comfortable announcing the pregnancy.

The midwife was kind enough to humor me and listen for a heartbeat (not typically heard via doppler until 10-12 weeks gestation). I told her I wouldn't read anything into it if I didn't hear anything, but if we could try and I heard a heartbeat I would be reassured. So, she tried...and tried....and tried. We heard my pulse..whoosh.............whoosh...........whoosh, like waves crashing on the shore. And then, like a distant train..choo..choo..choo..choo..whoosh..choo..choo..choo...

I have to say, it was the coolest sound, increased my odds this pregnancy is a keeper, and kept me on cloud nine all day. Now, we'll just to see if I am the lucky lady to break the baby boy trend or if we will need to learn to like a color other than pink.

Exciting News!

I just got my capstone placement for Spring and Summer semesters and I get to be in the NICU!!! I've met my preceptor before and she is awesome. I can not wait to finally delve into a unit and area of nursing that I really enjoy. I am so happy that I got what I asked for.

Could 2009 be full of the good stuff? It's off to a promising start.

Awesomenest

My friend just pointed out to me this morning that once the semester starts, I will be done with school in 6.5 months. Well, when you put it that way!!!! Frankly, school is low on my list of concerns. Just fast foward me a couple of months and hopefully jobs will be secured and our other worries will melt away.

Today the weather is beautiful. The girls and I had a playdate this morning. Maybe we'll go kick the soccer ball around or play a little baseball this afternoon. Must take advantage of a beautiful day and wear those little ladies out.

A Fresh Start

Well, 2008 ended on a sour note for the Murphy family, but that's not to say the whole year was a bust. I am 2/3 of the way done with school. Abigail started Kindergarten, learned how to swim, learned to eat a cheeseburger, and is an excellent reader. Autumn learned how to talk (mostly), she is potty-trained (a diaper-free home!), and she graduated out of the crib to a twin bed. Brian and I enjoyed an anniversary vacation complete with winery tours. Both of our cars are paid off and only required minor repairs. We still love our home and enjoy that it's brand-newness means no repairs. We certainly can't complain that gas prices went down (I won't even think about our retirement account or home value that are surely reduced to pennies). Our final thrill of 2008 is that Autumn learned how to have quiet time in the morning. Even though the girls wake up at 6 most days, they play quietly together in their rooms until their tummies insist we wake up around 7:30. While the job loss and hard drive crash have overshadowed the goodness of 2008 in the 11th hour, we do have a lot more than most, we have our home, our health and our family. I guess all in all, 2008 just continued to remind us that it's the little things in life that are most important and that it's a good time to get rid of the excess and keep it simple.

I could focus on the negative, but I choose not to. I have a lot to be thankful for.

I wish everyone a healthy, happy, and fulfilling 2009!