Girl vs. Boy

So, if you're anything like me, when you're pregnant you weigh the pros and cons of having a boy or a girl. Ultimately, it did not matter, but I'll share with you my list and explain why this even matters since we already know we are having a girl.

A Boy:
Pros:
we quickly agreed on a name.
we'd get a whole new persepective on life.
he'd have lots of nephews to play with.

Cons:
We'd need to gather boy clothes and toys.
We'd be faced with the decision...to circumcise or not?
We'd have to worry about getting sprayed during diaper changes.
The fear of unlimited energy little boys potentially possess.
Everyone and their brother who thought we were going to have a boy would feel like "they knew it." Nobody knows it, it's a 50/50 guess. I didn't feel like hearing 95% of the people I know say "I told you so."

A Girl:
Pros:
we've got clothes for years to come.
we've got lots of pink and girly toys.
they are so cute to dress up.

Cons:
THE NAME....there are many names Brian loves, many I love; but the problem lies in the lack of names that we both love. I can't say that there are any that we both like, rather a lucky few that we don't cringe over.

We are on the cusp of my third trimester and the name game hovers over us like a dark cloud.

Believe me, I've heard it all before...

"Will you continue with the "A" names?"...This was not intentional the first time around. We just happened to like two names that began with the letter "A". I will neither avoid, nor go out of my way to have another "A" name.

"Will the babies middle name rhyme with the big girl's...Paige and Sage?" Again, not intentional. Sage was just as big a contender for the first name. They were names we liked, they just happened to rhyme. (FYI: don't use up all of your favorite names on one kid, then there is nothing leftover for the rest of them).

"You could name the baby after yourselves.".... no, we can't. Our names have served us well, but aren't anything we want to pass along. Sorry.

This little lady can't go unnamed forever. We'll let you know when she's born in 13+/- weeks.

Now, let's see if we get lucky and get another fun birthday.
Abigail kicked off the trend with 05-04-03.
Autumn followed up with 11-11-05 (in addition to having the redunant number, she also always gets her birthday on a holiday).
Baby girl Murphy...will you hold out until September to get a fun 09-0#-09 or will you try to convince me that random numbers can be just as fun? Only time will answer these questions.

Desire Escaped Me

Well, I meant to get back to posting about my birthday extravaganza, but did not feel compelled to blog anything. Too much school, no job, no vacation stresses. But, I did have a delightful birthday. A visit from my mom was enjoyable and she stuffed us with lots of delicious food. A birthday gift from her included a trip for Brian and I to the Melting Pot. Delicious. If you've never been, you are missing out. Top it off with sushi (no raw fish, of course) and Belgian pecan waffles and I may as well count on gaining 5 pounds this month. Brian got me lovely gifts, including maternity tops, movies, music, carrot cake and unconditional love.

Now, it's back to reality. I have spent the last 5 days attending class, working on my Capstone project, 24 hours of clinical, 2 assignments, and many school related emails. I'm am feeling a slight bit of relief knowing that I can cram in a bunch of clinical hours over the next few weeks in hopes of getting my hours completed around the first week of July. With the burgeoning belly, I will do just about anything to get this requirement off my shoulders. It is far easier to stand on your feet for 12 hours the smaller the belly is. Given that I am in the NICU, I am no stranger to concept of premature labor. Two post-term pregnancies is no guarantee it can't happen to me. So, I will try to get as much done as early as possible. On the plus side, I get to walk around the unit and see how big my baby is it weren't contained in my womb. It's amazing.

Brian is still on the job hunt and is juggling the children excellently while I am fully immersed in finishing up this degree. Hopefully everything will work out soon and we can just enjoy being an employed family. I know money isn't everything, but those pesky bills seem to feel otherwise. I would have no trouble paying in hugs or cuteness.

All About Me-Mother's Day

Well, this week has been one big Kerri-party. It kicked off with an amazing Mother's Day. I got to sleep in a little while Brian did some dishes and got the girls dressed. Then we enjoyed delicious Dunkin' Donuts. If you've know me for a while, you may recall the food sensitivity ordeal I've juggled since before I got married. Well, three pregnancies and chemical changes later and I seem to tolerate just about anything that crosses my path. I haven't had a Dunkin' Donut in about 9 years and it was deliciuos. That Vanilla Kreme donut pretty much sugared me out for the day. I then got to open presents from the most thoughtful family ever. The girls made me cards and decorated flower pots at school. I now have the task of trying to keep those babies alive. I am completely capable of sustaining life (evidenced by Abigail and Autumn), but when it comes to plants the desire is lacking. Abigail also made me a rainbow-painted clay turtle. Brian thoroughly pampered me. I got a super fluffy white spa towel to go with a bubbly, massaging foot spa. Given the pregnancy and the long clinical shifts this summer, this is a dream come true. He even got me a Cosmo to read while soaking my pups (you know, the sex issue, because which issue isn't?). To indulge my love of period-era movies, he bought me The Duchess. How have I never heard of this movie? It is totally me. Then, since Abigail was Brian's shopping helper, I got some Lip Smackers lip glosses in Vanilla and Birthday Cake. Sparkly fun. I even got a card from the new baby. Brian took the girls to visit his mom for the morning, which gave me the house to my house for a bit. I flipped through the ads, took a nap, and read my book. Then Brian brought home some KFC for lunch (I know. I must be pregnant). Then the girls just played sweetly all afternoon while I relaxed. I made a light salad for dinner (Given I was stuffed from the food earlier) and caught up on some Heros with Brian. Nothing better than curling up on the sofa my man.

Well, the rest of the week will have to wait until another post. This one was much longer than I had planned and it's time to get my baby girls tucked into bed.

A Baby Boy

My friend, who went into preterm labor 2 weeks ago had a baby boy. He's in the NICU, but both mom and baby are doing well. The little guy just needs to grow a little, breath, and learn to eat. At 34 weeks, he overcome many of the hurdles. Let's think positive thoughts and hope for smooth sailing.

What a Week

To save time, my week will be summed up in pictures and bullets.

• I was on a cooking frenzy: cinnamon muffins for Teacher Treats Day, dinner for a friend in need, sugar cookies for classmates, brownies for Abigail's party, Rice Krispie Treats for Abigail's class....


• All of the girls' clothes were organized by age (0 months-7 years)...we could open our own boutique!
  
• Classes were completed on Thursday with a presentation. Woo Hoo!
• To celebrate I got a "warning" ticket for parking over the "stall lines". $45 dollars when cars were able to park on either side of mine and no one had to squeeze to get into or out of the car....


• We set up bunk beds for the girls and reorganized their newly shared room.


• The nursery is still a work in progress.


• According to Abigail (and all of her teachers), she had the most awesomest 6th birthday party-May the Force be With Her. (Note to self: boys are WAY more active than girls)


• We enjoyed a visit from my friend from high school. It was lovely to catch up with her and her husband and the girls were absolute dolls.


• Autumn and I took Abigail a Happy Meal as a special birthday lunch. Abigail is not a shy child and took full advantage of the fact that the Asst. Prinicpal was willing to lead the cafeteria in singing Happy Birthday to her.


• Torturous, I know, but Abigail had to have her allergist appointment on her birthday. Starting tomorrow we Abigail will be start integrating Abigail into the mainstream nutty tables.

Pin the Explosion on the Spaceship

Party Game: Hot Asteroid with Star Wars Music

Clone Trooper Abigail and her Birthday Brownie

Time to Blow Out the Candles

Decoration Station

Autumn Decorating with a Little Help from Dad

The Girls (the boys are playing in the background)

Gift Helper Autumn with A Humongous Bag

The Birthday Girl with One of her Many New Lego Sets

Autumn was a Trooper with all the Attention Showered on Abigail

(She also has crazy hair)

The New Bunkbeds

Girls R Us

I just went through ALL of the girls' clothes. I could set up my own store there are so many. This newest edition is not going to need a stitch of clothing. Between Abigail being born in the Spring and Autumn born in the Fall, we've got every season covered in every stage. And honestly, all of the clothes are in stellar condition. I have to say having girls makes it easy on the hand-me downs. Rarely have I had to throw out an outfit at the end of the season because it got stained or torn up. I don't think Abigail has ever stained anything (she came this dainty, I just got lucky) and Autumn has only ruined a few outfits at daycare (ravioli to 2 year olds without a bib? Not a bright idea).

Admittedly, I am nesting quite early. For starters, the girls' bunk beds will be arriving this weekend and we'll begin the transition to sharing a room. Secondly, I have a bit of a break before summer session starts. I will roughly be doing 36 hours of clinical time, plus 7 hours of class time, plus study time, plus family time. That doesn't leave a lot of time for nesting this summer. The next opportunity I have is the beginning of August when I'll be 37 weeks. If you know me at all, you know that I would be a stress monkey knowing I had that hanging over my head all summer. That's a little too last minute for me. While I have traditionally delivered late, and I'm hoping this time is no exception, things don't always work out the way we'd hoped.

So, this time next week I will have all the big girls' room and the nursery all set up, leaving me time to relax and enjoy the girls whenever I can this summer.

IT"S A.........

GIRL !!!

We had a lovely day yesterday. I spent the morning destroying a cake. It was quite embarassing. I love to decorate cakes, but with a broken A/C (temps 85), the icing kept melting and I was making a HUGE mess. I had pink icing between the layers, but when the top cake cracked in the lava-like icing glow, I ditched the top layer. That left me with a pink top layer which was suppose to be hidden. Then I needed a gender neutral color and tried to make orange out of my pink; hoping to avoid a peachy girly look. This is what happens when I don't get to drink a beer while decorating my cakes (a tradition of mine I look forward to getting back into this Fall).

But our friends and family arrived to learn of the exciting news. Everyone was a good sport about the broken A/C. Stories were shared, hugs were given, the kids played so quietly, and the baby was in a delightful mood. The big sisters were showered with dresses and Abigail got a jump on her birthday gifts.

To make the announcement, the plan was to have the girls pull out two little outfits we bought the new baby (after all, the girl is going to get a lot of hand-me downs and needs something to call her own). Autumn was being grumpy. Note to self: next time you include toddlers in the big reveal, make sure they want to play the game. Of course, like have a moody flower-girl in your wedding, it adds a little charm to the event. (FYI: The pink outfit says "Little Lady", which is my nickname for my girls).

I was also charmed and amused that my friends brought a gift for a boy or a girl! Those ladies are prepared. We did coo over the boy gifts that were not-to-be, just because it's the thought that counts and little boy outfits with squirrels on them are cute. Here is a pic of the princesses new wardrobe.


I have also finished up classes for the semester. Just have to do one last presentation on Thursday, but I've already completed it. I will take this break to reorganize baby girl clothes, spend some time taking a trip down memory lane, read a book, and maybe get the girls set up with bunk beds. I also get to go on a field trip with Abigail's kindergarten class to the Shenandoah mountains. The girls will also get a sleepover at Gramma and Grandpa's house so that Brian and I can celebrate my birthday. Never thought I would consider sleeping-in a birthday present, but it means a lot now.

Now, if that A/C guy would just swing on by to cool off this house.

Very, Very Exciting News

To be announced tomorrow.

The ultrasound on Wednesday went perfectly...perfect 3 vessel cord, perfect heart, perfect brain, perfect bloodflow, perfect kidneys, perfectly cooperated.... The tech even mentioned how easy the baby made her job; let's just hope the baby is equally cooperative when it makes its arrival.

The girls were with us to watch. Despite prepping the girls with YouTube videos of what to expect, Autumn was still pretty nervous. She curled up in daddy's lap and we watched some BabyTV. The tech started at the top with a cross-section of the skull. Abigail's reactions "what a cute head!". She is my daughter.

We will be announcing the gender to the family tomorrow and will share the news with the masses tomorrow evening. We are very excited and can not wait to meet the newest Murph. No doubt, our lives will be very different come September.

Almost 23 weeks. Just 17 to go. (and less than 100 days of school, in case anyone else is as excited about that as I am!)

A Moment's Pause

A very good friend of mine went into pre-term labor this weekend. Having spent many hours, critically analyizing the NICU, I am confident she and her baby will get excellent care. Now we all just have to hope for the best.

Granted, I see premature births everyday, but it is easier to dissociate from it when they aren't people you know. It was like miscarriage...I rarely thought about it with my first two pregnancies, but I was plagued by the thought this time around. Somehow knowing so many women who had recently had the experience made it seem more real. Totally illogical, as I know their miscarriages did not change my odds one bit. And my odds with a third pregancy were no different than with my first two. But some how, it felt like it could be more real. I am not going to stress over premature labor, but it does make me reflect on the possibility. This kid just needs to hang out until July 31st (37 weeks), so that I can get my degree complete. The other two always accomodated Brian's print deadline, so maybe this one can accomodate me.

Now I'm off to cook up meals and plan a goodie basket for the overwhelmed family. It's not much, but the rest is out of my hands.

The Big Ultrasound

I'm getting very excited. The ultrasound is less than two days away. We will be torturing everyone and making them wait until Saturday to do the big reveal. I can not wait for all four of us to see the newest member of the family, with it's alien-like appearance, on the ultrasound screen. A little heart beat, hands and feets wiggling, and at the end of the day hopes for a healthy baby.

In the meantime, I am very busy planning and organizing. Just found some bunk beds at a great price on Craigslist (haven't heard back from the seller, but it is a great find), organizing Abigail's Star Wars themed birthday party, and we're all set for our little BBQ on Saturday. Finding out the gender will put me in serious nesting mood. I can go through all the baby boxes and know if I need to keep-and-clean it or sale it. This is just what the planner in me has been craving.

Now that the semester is wrapping up, I'm already prepping for the marathon that will be summer session. Hopefully this will just be more time consuming than actual papers and projects. But I am ready to get it started so that I can finish it.

When I look into the future, the details are pretty vague. Right now I know I will be working as a NICU nurse. Soon I will know if I have a house full of girls or if I will have a little boy outlier. A little more definition. I will almost be able to see the whole future if we're all lucky and Brian finds a job. That will answer if we get the luxury of him working from home again (ideal) or if he will be in an office M-F (no complaints, we'll just be thankful to have a paycheck) and will the baby be a sleeper (not betting on it, given our track record).

In the meantime, I'm just going to enjoy the moment and appreciate all the stuff that we do have.

Intentions Only Get You So Far

Well, I had every intention of updating more frequently, but I can see that isn't going to happen. I am pulling myself out of the school trenches and hope to see daylight sometime late Wednesday night. There will still be two assignments left, but nothing quite so weighty. Clinical time has been completed for the semester which was hugely time consuming (in a good way, dont' get me wrong).

When I do have breaks, I like to spend them with the girls and Brian, no offense internets. I have been busy planning our little Baby Reveal party and visiting family over Easter weekend (it all ironically fell on Easter weekend because I do not find Easter to be a holiday that necessitates with a visit with all the family members or worthy of numerous planned events). I've also been doing some research on Star Wars themed birthday parties, since Abigail is just smitten with the movies and is declaring this the year of the Star Wars party. It's quite a different way of thinking, given the girly girliness that has consumed my life the last 6 years.

The baby is kicking up a storm, but Brian still can't feel it. I refuse to let anyone else even try until Brian declares he can feel a kick. That is a first that I feel should be reserved for the papa. I have also recently been getting grumpy over all of the volunteered opinions thrown at me and extra gushiness. I know everyone means well, but I am not a gushy person. The more excited you become, the less excited I become. Makes no sense, I know. Blame hormones or life stress, but it is what it is. I also find well-intentioned often means the other person does for you what they would like done for them in a similar situation without taking the time to ask me what I need or want. If you ask, you might find we want the same thing, but you just might find my needs are completely different.

Well, that certainly is a sour note to end on. If it helps, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, I am taking time to enjoy the happy moments in my life (of which there are many) amongst the chaos, and if nothing else, I am now able to enjoy a delicious slice of cake without any undesirable consequences. Sweet sugar, here I come.

Brian's Dream Come True

Abigail just totally made Brian's day. My sister gave Brian an old Empire Strikes Back book with a 7" record. A fun trip down memory lane peaked Abigail's interest. She even said she would consider a Star Wars themed birthday this year if she likes the movie. She and Brian will have a father-daughter movie date this week. Too cute.

And this is why having girls is awesome. There is nothing that you can do with a little boy that you can't also do with a little girl. On the contrary, people would probably look at me funny if I dressed a boy up in a pink tutu with pink sparkle lip gloss.

Sweet Story

Abigail had a book swap at school. She took in ten books that she didn't want anymore and got to trade them in for other books that her peers didn't want anymore. She made some great picks that were, by far, much more interesting books than the books we donated. We have now have a small collection of Clifford, Toy Story, Pinkalicious, Hello Kitty, and How to Draw books. But the very best part of all is when Abigail said, "I picked this one out for Autumn because I thought she would like it." How generous to give up a book for yourself to get something for you little sister (and no one even asked her to do it). I wish I could take the credit, but she was just born a sweet and thoughtful child. I'm so proud of her (gush, gush).

Grumpy Pants

I am tired of always wearing grumpy pants lately. I am actually making a concious effort to be less grumpy and it's just not working. There are lots of things I can blame...gloomy weather, hormones, abyssmal economy, inept professors and school stresses. The list goes on and on. The good news is that I love my clinical setting. Spending 12 hours in the NICU flies by and I am never grumpy.

I also find that this pregnancy is just flying by. With all the madness, if I didn't make a daily effort to acknowledge the little baby kicking around inside me, I would completely forget I was pregnant. I suppose I should be thankful that I don't have the morning sickness or achey joints or fatigue that so many others have to remind me that my body is really busy hosting a long-term house guest. But sometimes those pains force you to focus on yourself and push aside all of your other less important worries. I also find that I am less inclined to daydream with such looming uncertainties. I want to surf for nursery themes and ways to turn Abigail's room into one that is equally geared to herself and Autumn since they will soon be sharing a room. I want to dream up an awesome nursery theme that I will be happy to sit in for hours on end, but one that will grow with the kid.

I know it will all work out, but in the meantime, I've got to trade in my grumpy pants for some happy pants. Here's a pic of what makes me happy and makes all the madness worth it.

Tidbits

- It is sunny right now, makes me happy.

- Abigail's opthalmalogist swears she has green eyes, not blue.

- I've popped. People can actually tell I'm pregnant.

- Abigail gave the baby belly a hug yesterday, Autumn wanted to thump it.

- I am looking forward to the warm summer sun.

- A little less than 5 weeks before the ultrasound.

- I like the new show "Kings". I hope it doesn't get cancelled.

-I choose not to burden you with my negativity today.

A Hug or a Headlock?


Doing the Good-bye Dance

Abigail and Her Kindergarten BFF in Circus Attire

So Much, So Little Time

Well, it's actually been quite busy around here. No time + no motivation = no blogging. I'm still loving the career and the unit, but am hating school. Nothing new, so I won't bore you with the rant.

I had my monthly appointment with my midwife on Monday. Up 8 pounds, which is far more than I've ever gained this early in a pregancy. But, I started out lighter than other pregnancies, so I will likely still top out at the 159 mark come delivery time. Guess my body just wants to hit a certain max, regardless of how much I weigh at the beginning. Definitely feeling little kicks. No one else can yet, but they're there. Almost 17 weeks.

My friends have gone through all the old wives tales to figure out if it's a boy or a girl. I think it's still split down the middle. I like to eat savory and sweet. The heart rate is 140. The chinese gender calendar is ambiguous. Several have had gut feelings that it's a boy. We'll just have to wait the 5.5 weeks to find out. And, my ridiculous baby boy streak has been broken. A nurse at work is having a girl.

Abigail's kindergarten class put on a circus today. Sadly, I had class, but Brian and Autumn attended and took pictures. They rode bikes, did gymnastics, told jokes and did magic tricks. There was even a "strong man" that picked up a very "heavy" styrofoam barbell. Wish I'd been there. The kids charged money; 10 cents for kids/$1 for adults; to help them practice counting money. Then they are going to use the proceeds to adopt a sea turtle to mirror their lesson about the life cycle of the leatherback sea turtle.

Autumn is getting very good at writing her ones and Ts, wowing her teachers with her mad writing skills.

We're gearing the kids up for bunk beds in the next month and a half or so and Brian is still plugging away at the job hunt. I'm confident everything will work out, but until I have confirmation of that I will be wicked stressed. Watch out. My tolerance and patience for anything beyond my immediate family or the NICU babies is absolutely zero.

Spring Break

It's Spring Break for me, but this snow certainly doesn't make it feel very Springy. I have been able to catch up on clinical hours and some papers; if I can just keep up my momentum. A neighbor invited Abigail out to go sledding on Monday and she had a blast. (I was sleeping off night shift and Brian has a cold, so I am very greatful that she got to enjoy the snow).

We are all adjusting to the new routine. We cut Autumn's daycare down by 70%, so she is getting used to spending more time at home. I am trying to relearn how to juggle my time. Brian is on kid duty, but I still feel torn between wanting to help out, yet still having a lot of school work to do that prevents me from helping out.

Despite all the chaos and stress, I know that when I hear my kids giggle and see them playing together the rest just doesn't matter. That is also probably why I'm taking the time blog about the newest edition every week. It guarantees me one moment to forget about the economy and focus on the future...when I will have earning power and Brian will have a job and we will be able to see all five faces in our family smiling.

Look at me, I can suck my thumb already!

I still fit in my prepregnancy jeans, but after wearing them every day for a week, I decided I needed to pull out the maternity clothes to give myself some variety. Seems funny when I don't feel big enough to need them yet, but I guess maybe I do. The bones are all formed and should be hardening up over the next couple of weeks. I still get some flutters, but I'm looking for those big kicks that say, "don't forget about me in here!" We've got seven more weeks until the ultrasound and I won't even begin to guess if it's a boy or a girl. I will say this...my baby boy count is up to 17! I will either perpetuate this trend or break it (very intuitivue of me, right?). Can't wait to find out. Regardless of a boy or a girl, I still want to do a nerdy nursery. Science is fun for a boy or a girl!

All of My Babies

Well, I've noticed that the cell-phone sized fetus has been been getting an disproportionate amount of air time. I will now attempt the game of "Even-Steven", which I know to be impossible to achieve and should not be strived for on a daily basis. More likely, it will all even out in the wash.

Abigail has certainly grown up into a smart and creative young lady. During our weekend visit with the Great Aunts and Great Grandma, Abigail led craft-time. She prepped supplies at the house and taught all of the Aunts how to make origami sea-turtles.

And, we just swung by the local mall where the area elementary schools had the children's artwork on display. I imagined every child got to post an art project, but I was pleasantly proven wrong. Maybe 50 kids from each school got their art displayed and Abigail was one of them. Looks like she's a budding Picasso.

Autumn has learned a whole bunch of new words lately. Just this weekend, she tackled "she", "g-ramma", "g-rampa", "green" and "broccoli". This is huge for us. Being able to understand Autumn goes a long way to keeping everyone sane. She's still headstrong, but at least I understand what she's so grumpy about, even if I don't agree.

This littlest one is still locked up on the inside. Last week I was not hungry, but never felt full. It was a horrible feeling. Nothing was satisfying. At least for today, that feeling has gone away. I don't feel hungry and I feel full. Maybe it was the peanut butter. I haven't eaten peanut butter since the last big Peter Pan PB recall 2 years ago. I now I jump back in during a salmonella outbreak. Go figure. Here's a pic of what the little one might look like; wrinkly and old man-ish.

Belated Update

Well, this week has been busy juggling school and icy weather and stomach flu and head colds... At first I couldn't figure out why I hadn't posted, but I suppose that explains it. I have to admit, I am SO ready for spring. While living in New England sipping tea in front of a warm fire seems so romantic, the reality is I would likely become bitter from being in a constant state of hypothermia. Just the very idea of spring this year brings me hope. Warmer sunny weather that begs you to spend more time outside, the hope of a traditional pickup in the housing market that will overflow to increase hiring in other jobs, birthdays, stroller walks, flowers blooming....Just get here already!

Clinical was awesome this week. Crazy busy, but learned so much. When my preceptor introduced me to the mom of my patient, the mom said that she had heard great things about me the day before. It was nice to hear that people are talking up what a good job I'm doing even when I'm not around.

The baby bump is progressing. Still wearing everyday clothes, so passersby probably just think I'm fat and out of shape. I don't really care because I know better. I even think I've felt a few little kicks this week. I have to be very still and they are very subtle, but they are definitely there. It's nice to have something so fun to distract me from the stressors of everyday life. I have also found that while I am not hungry all of the time, I am never full. This stinks because I like to feel satisfied after a good meal. This does not bode well for my weight gain. The baby has all of its tooth buds, is secreting insulin, and is refining that GI tract. Go villi and peristalsis.

How cool is this picture, a 13 week fetus with an red artsy hue.

The Elfish Gene

Brian has a book review published on SciFi Wire (which was so awesome it needed very few edits). Check it out.
http://scifiwire.com/2009/02/a-trainspotting-like-addiction-to-dd-rules-the-elfish-gene.php